essentiallyharmless: (Brave as a bear)
Player Information
Name: Kristine
Age: 30
Contact: email: krharbek (gmail), chats: harbek (trillian), krharbek (aim)
Characters already in Medietas: N/A
Reserve Link: http://medietas-mods.dreamwidth.org/1679.html?thread=1223311#cmt1223311

Character Basics
Character name: Lucy Cole (aka Lucy Saxon)
Character Journal: [personal profile] essentiallyharmless
Canon: Doctor Who
Canon Point: 2009, AU near the end of season 4
Age: 31
Icon:
http://www.dreamwidth.org/userpic/5254258/1835371

Canon Character Information
Appearance:
Lucy is a pale, slim woman, about 5'4" tall, with long, blonde hair. She carries herself with both pride and modesty, like a proper lady should, and she's quite attractive, usually dressing in understated but elegant clothing. She cares about her appearance, wears makeup and jewelry, and often does her hair up. She has a lovely but not very expressive face, and is usually rather restrained and proper in how she holds herself and behaves, though much less so now than she used to be. She's generally polite and friendly, though she's also a bit guarded these days.


History:
[A lot of this is extrapolated and expanded from minor details given in canon and outside it. Also, this includes a lot of AU stuff. I'll say more about that in the AU section.]

Lucy Cole was born in 1978, to Lord and Lady Cole of Tarminster, the youngest child of three, and the only daughter. Her older brothers looked out for her until she went away to boarding school at age 11. She earned average marks at Roedean School and graduated with a degree in Italian from St. Andrews University, both of them fairly expensive and respectable schools. She also excelled enough at netball to earn a spot on the all-national team, and enjoyed swimming. Her best fields of study were the humanities and some of the social sciences.

While she was not exceptionally intelligent, she didn't have too much trouble and was always a good student, and mostly a "good girl", content with following the rules and doing what she was supposed to. She wasn't entirely without rebellion, though it was mostly just a social life that consisted of a bit more alcohol and sexual freedom than it perhaps should for a proper young lady, but it was kept fairly discreet.

When she was 21, straight out of university and with little idea what she was going to spend her life doing, she decided she'd go traveling for a while, try and see a bit more of the world. It was 1999 in Bangkok, that she met a man calling himself the Doctor. He was older than her, but with a spring in his step, a curly brown head of hair, and a twinkle in his eyes. She got swept up in a mystery involving strange alien creatures, and she realised there was quite a lot more to the world than she had initially expected. When he invited her with him, she could hardly say no. She was still traveling, but now she was doing so across all of time and space, having adventures and seeing all kinds of strange things.

Lucy traveled with the Doctor for about three years in total, on and off. Every now and then he'd take her back home so she could see her family, and then he'd come back for her again, looking older every time. Not so much by appearance, but she could see it in his eyes. Until one day, he told her he wouldn't be able to come back for her again. There was a war, and he was needed.

She was 25 by then, by both personal timeline and current date - roughly, at least. Suddenly, she'd have to finally decide what she wanted to do with her life. She was never bright enough to change the world in the way the Doctor could, but he had taught her that anyone could make a difference. Her father's influence enabled her to gain work with several prominent charities, mostly fundraising and publicity. She used her connections to help where she could, even if she was no longer running around averting planetary destruction. She always kept herself too busy to be truly unhappy, even if when properly considered, her life was fairly dull and lacking in the unexpected.

Her interest in literature also led her to work with publishing. This is how she met a man named Harold Saxon, who was publishing his autobiography. He had drawn her in quite easily -- he was always charming when he wanted to be, hypnotic even. He had seemed like such a good man, intelligent, funny, sophisticated but not stuffy. He reminded her so much of the Doctor, she was completely swept away. A real keeper, everyone thought so. And he was interested, or at least he pretended to be. Everyone told her to strike while the iron was hot. And then, well, they had only known each other 9 months when he proposed. Hypnotic indeed. How could she refuse?

Part of her always knew there was darkness inside him, and obsession, perhaps even insanity. But she had seen that in the Doctor too, and it didn't scare her. Sometimes Harry would show it, in private. But she made him better. He was calmer with her influence, gentler. She soothed his pain.

They got married in the autumn of 2007, a year after they met. And on their honeymoon, he took her to see the stars. Turned out, it wasn't so strange she was reminded of the Doctor. Her Harry was also a Time Lord. He took her in his time machine, to the end of the universe itself. Emptiness. Silence. Everything dying. He had broken her heart that day, and with a little effort, he had also broken her mind.

But then he had given her purpose. Of a sort, anyhow. He was going to save them. An endless loop of never dying. She didn't really understand it, but the way he described it, it would be the perfect world. Utopia, he said. You had to break a few eggs, sure, murder a few people. She understood that. She didn't much care for it, but she understood. For the greater good. Sometimes she doubted, but she had made her choice.

Harry became Prime Minister of the UK. Everything went exactly as planned. In time, her Harry even turned her against the Doctor (now wearing a new face), and they defeated him too. Later, she couldn't have explained to anyone how Harry - the Master, as he was calling himself now - had twisted her mind so much. They took over the world, with the help of the Toclafane descending from the skies. But it wasn't the Utopia she had dreamed. And she found she could no longer calm Harry like she once had, and he grew bored. He grew violent.

It started small. He got more controlling, more manipulative, less kind. Sometimes he lost his temper, but he would apologise, and she would forgive him. She loved him, after all. But it got worse, and he got more abusive, more often; emotionally, physically, verbally, sexually, even mentally - a Time Lord is psychic, and the Master had no qualms about using it against her. She realised eventually that he'd always been doing it.

She knew what he was planning. Harry was going to conquer the entire universe. And what could she do to stop him? She tried to take her own life, once. Harry retaliated by killing her oldest brother in cold blood, right in front of her. She knew that if she succeeded in taking her own life, the rest of her family would die. So she tried to go numb. Just go along. He'd call her with a "Coming, sweetheart?", the petname holding very little actual affection, and she'd run to his side. Pray to herself that he'd be kind, that he'd be forgiving.

And when the day finally came, that he would expand his empire, the Doctor finally was able to fight back, and to win. Lucy even found herself helping him, as much as she was capable at the time. And the Doctor reversed time. A whole year had suddenly never happened. The Toclafane never descended. They never took over the world. But they remembered, Lucy, the Doctor, and the Master - her Harry. The Doctor stated his intention to take Harry away, to keep him, stop him from hurting anyone. Feeling numb, going on automatic, Lucy picked up a gun, and she shot Harry in the stomach, for all the pain he had caused. He died in the Doctor's arms, and Lucy hardly felt a thing.

Miraculously, the Doctor forgave her. She knew by then that the Doctor and the Master were old friends, but still, the Doctor also knew what the Master had done to Lucy's mind. From she gathered, it was not the first time he'd seen it. The Doctor took Lucy away, left her on a quiet planet far away, where she would be safe, where she could heal.

Two years later, she was recruited by the Time Agency, because of her rather particular experiences. She had her doubts, but she missed traveling through time, and so she accepted. However, she didn't have time to go through all that many missions before she crossed paths with the Doctor again, as they were both investigating the same time-anomaly.

She didn't know what had happened to him in the meantime, or how long it had been for him, but he looked the same, more or less. He still had the same face. She resumed her travels with him, and for a while, it was wonderful. Just like old times. But as they discovered a plot to bring the Master back, Lucy suddenly knew she couldn't do this anymore. There were some things she didn't want to face again, and so she told him she wanted to leave.


Personality:
Lucy's a proper lady with good breeding, and has always been generally well-liked. She was always polite, considerate, patient and cultured. She had pride and dignity and grace, but was never arrogant or elitist. Some of that still remains, but not all of it, and certainly not all the time. She has a kind heart and was perhaps somewhat naive, though her heart has become somewhat hardened in the last few years, and her outlook more cynical. She's not particularly bright or strong, but neither is she as helpless as she might seem. She's independent enough to take care of herself, and reckless enough to face danger.

She's never been a very ambitious or competitive person, but neither is she lazy. She never thought she'd change the world or do anything remarkable, but she thought she could do some good for the world and that she'd make a good wife - though her experiences with two Time Lords showed her different, for better and for worse. She's much less likely to take things lying down now, with a stronger desire to take her future into her own hands. With all she's been through, she's still alive - a little broken, but still going - and this knowledge gives her strength.

However, being abused in a variety of ways by her husband left her frightful, timid, numb, and without hope. While she has healed a lot since then, trauma is never truly forgotten, and it may occasionally rear its head. Having recently been faced with the possibility of meeting him again, it's closer to the surface than it has been in a while. She often wavers between the two of extremes of recklessness and self-preservation, and she may sometimes seem a little erratic as a result. She frequently struggles against feelings of hopelessness, and she fears being powerless.

Once upon a time, she had a lot of patience, but it's less of a priority now. She believes in being a good person, but that won't stop her from being cruel, when she feels someone deserves it, or when a bad day brings out the worst in her. She carries a lot of regret and guilt, but she rarely shows it. She guards her heart closely, and often puts on a show to hide her true feelings. It's not hard to make friends with her, but she doesn't trust easily anymore. It's also not terribly difficult to start a sexual relationship with her, but any sort of romantic commitment is unlikely.


Powers/Abilities/Talents:
No supernatural powers or abilities, beyond very low-key telepathy/empathy as a result of events in her travels. More of a "sense" than anything else.

She's reasonably athletic, speaks Italian, and has picked up a fair amount of random knowledge over the years. She's by no means a genius or expert in any particular field, but traveling through time and space for years tends to teach you a few things.


AU/CR AU Addendum:
So, here's what happens to Lucy in canon: had backstory is roughly the same, except she never travels with the Doctor. Everything related to the Master/Harry still happens - they marry, he breaks her mind, he takes over the world, and in the end she shoots him. Except the Doctor then abandons her to her fate, and she is put in a secret solitary prison for two years. When she hears about a plot to bring the Master back (using her, because she was his wife), she thwarts his resurrection, and the ensuing explosion kills her.

I always felt that Lucy was robbed. Despite limited screentime, and what the Master did to her, she managed to kill the Master *twice*. I've RPed her before, taking her post-death from canon, and basically playing through her healing process. That version of Lucy had her story finished though, plus she has too much baggage to try and do CR AU. This AU version of Lucy is one that's been in my mind for years and years, but I've never RPed her. I miss playing Lucy, and I think this version of her just has so much potential.


What 4 items would you like your character to have with them on the island during their stay?
- Glock 17 pistol, with additional ammo
- Aquarium of exotic fish (many of which are not from Earth)
- Vortex manipulator (time-travel and teleportation capabilities deactivated, it mostly does similar things to a sonic screwdriver)
- Her travel diary, unlockable by no one but her

Also, on her body as she arrives:
- Unremarkable contemporary clothing
- TARDIS key (useless without an actual TARDIS)


Samples
First Person: http://essentiallyharmless.dreamwidth.org/3153.html
Third Person: http://bigapplesauce.dreamwidth.org/37709.html (A slightly different version of her, but close enough.)

Finally, out of the 4 words, pick one: Chimes, lake, gravel, or sun?
Oh no, this is like a sorting hat quiz, too much pressure. Uhhh. Lake!


 
 
 
 
essentiallyharmless: (Brave as a bear)
[Out Of Character]
Backtagging with this character: Sure.
Threadhopping with this character: Ask first, please.
Fourthwalling: Sure.
Canon puncture: Sure.
Trigger warnings: I'm fine with most things, handled with care, but she's going to react to certain topics, especially rape and abuse.

[In Character]
Sexual/romantic orientation: Bisexual, though inclined towards men.
Hugging this character: If it's a friend, it's nice, otherwise she might be standoffish.
Flirting with this character: Sure.
Giving this character a kiss: Go for it, but she might slap you if it's unwelcome.
Something more intimate: I'm not particularly interested in smut, but don't mind writing it for emotional interactions.
Relationships: Not impossible.
Dub-con/non-con/sexual assault: Unlikely.
Fighting with this character: Go for it, though she's not a tough fighter.
Injuring this character: Sure.
Killing this character: As long as she can come back.
Using telepathy/mind reading abilities on this character: Sure (not like it would be the first time), feel free to ask me what they might learn.
essentiallyharmless: (Steady as drum)
Dear diary,

It seems rather silly to be writing this. It's been years since I kept a diary. In fact, I stopped writing the moment I stopped traveling with the Doctor.

But now here I am again, traveling with him, and writing in my diary about it. I'd left this book here, in the TARDIS. I didn't think I'd see it again. There are so many stories it could tell, but few who would believe them. There's probably a few stories that aren't safe to tell, too. But here the book was, waiting for me to add more stories.

In the Agency, I had to write reports. They were cold, unfeeling things; facts and numbers, no sense of nuance or subjectivity. I suppose I've missed writing like this, just my thoughts and experiences, with no need to worry who's going to read it. I think the only one who could is the TARDIS herself, and she knows it all anyway.

The Doctor took me to see the Trevelyan Markets yesterday, in its early days, in the 53rd century. So much life, so many colours - apparently many more than my human eye could perceive, the Doctor told me. Then he nearly got his hand chopped off for not observing proper market etiquette, by which I mean he touched something before paying for it, and of course he didn't have any money.

We managed to get away intact, then the Doctor made a joke about the last time he got his hand cut off, it gained sentience and settled down in a parallell universe. When I tried to ask how on earth that happened, he got distracted and ran off. He hasn't changed much, all things considered.

That's all I can write for now - the cloyster bells are ringing, and I suppose I'd better go find out what's trying to kill us this time.

- Lucy

Playlist

Jul. 15th, 2011 08:59 pm
essentiallyharmless: all by harbek unless otherwise noted (Default)
IS THAT ALL THERE IS

I remember when I was a very little girl, our house caught on fire.
I'll never forget the look on my father's face as he gathered me up
in his arms and raced through the burning building out to the pavement.
I stood there shivering in my pajamas and watched the whole world go up in flames.
And when it was all over I said to myself, "Is that all there is to a fire?"

Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that's all there is, my friends, then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is

Then I fell in love, with the most wonderful boy in the world.
We would take long walks by the river or just sit for hours gazing into each other's eyes.
We were so very much in love.
Then one day, he went away. And I thought I'd die -- but I didn't.
And when I didn't I said to myself, "Is that all there is to love?"

Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep...

I know what you must be saying to yourselves.
If that's the way she feels about it why doesn't she just end it all?
Oh, no. Not me. I'm not ready for that final disappointment.
For I know just as well as I'm standing here talking to you,
when that final moment comes and I'm breathing my last breath, I'll be saying to myself,

Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is



CATH

Cath, she stands with a well-intentioned man
But she can't relax with his hand on the small of her back
And as the flashbulbs burst
She holds a smile like someone would hold a crying child

And soon everybody will ask what became of you
'Cause your heart was dying fast, and you didn't know what to do

Cath, it seems that you live in someone else's dream
In a hand-me-down wedding dress
Where the things that could have been are repressed
But you said your vows, and you closed the door
On so many men who would have loved you more

And soon everybody will ask what became of you
'Cause your heart was dying fast, and you didn't know what to do



SLIDE

A late april day and it's sunny outside
and a red little girl's at the top of a slide
And an an orange old man at the bottom
wants to take her for a ride
As she slips and she tumbles, the orange man mumbles
pennies crash down from the sky
And he tells her he'll take her away where it's safe
and of course it is a lie

She's a third the down and her skirts are yanked up
and her little girl cheeks start to wrinkle
But her smile is wide and her legs are spread wider
Her hair growing long and her hips getting larger
Past getting brighter, light growing weaker....
She is halfway down now, but the man is impatient
Shakes change in his pocket, he might have to wait, but she's coming...
She's coming...

Who are you blaming?
They're just playing!
That's a good one...
Who left the playground
a good decade before the bell rang?

As she starts to draw nearer, the view becomes clearer
The splinters are painful, but she doesn't feel it
The pennies were loaded and as they exploded
she starts to spin out of control...
Her eyes are now closing, her sleeves are unrolling
up past her head and her veins are all showing
Not that she noticed, she's thoroughly focused on
one old man who's laughing...
Who's laughing....
Don't worry
I've got you
Don't worry
I've got you

The orangeman got you.....



LONESOME ORGANIST

He told me that I knew just what to laugh at
And I wanted to but I just couldn't ask if he would take it back so I could know for certain
So on the bench I watched his left hand crossing
While doubling entendres with the voicings
He said "O darling, you're charming
Please don't find it alarming if I pull this stop out to free up a hand for heavy petting"

Now there there
I'm a friendly man
I joke about sex because it's funny when you're frightened

So silently I sat and turned the pages
Recalculating our respective ages
Over my shoulder, he muttered, "If I get any older
You can hack my wrists off with your choice of objects
No, I'm kidding"

Don't be scared
I'm a friendly man
I joke about death because it's funny when you're frightened

This is as far as I could get
He jabbed a needle in my neck
Erasing all the evidence
But there were matchsticks in my pants
And if a rock should hit my head
And I remember what he did
You'll be the very first to know
Maybe I'll find out why this damn thing won't stop bleeding

He told me that I showed a great potential
That given I turned heads and pages
Fame would be a piece of cake
But practice was essential
So like a stupid child I believed it
And golly who would ever had agreed if
I had been Schubert or Mozart
Devoted to the fine art of perfecting absolutely everything inconsequential

Don't be sad
I'll come back again
I joke about trash 'cause it takes class to be enlightened

So several decades have gone by
I am still sitting by his side
I turn the pages faithfully
He turns his head and smiles at me
And with a wink he says, "I doubt
We would be anywhere without
Your gift for keeping truth and consequence from meeting"



ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES

That really hurt me
Like a fist to the face
I wasn't ready
To be knocked out of place
Suddenly everything I was sure of
Sinking below the depths of the surface
It's unexpected, it usually is
When you're rejected
Or you take a hit
Suddenly everything's thrown in a spin
No time to grow a thicker skin
What kind of situation am I in now?

When life tries to knock all the wind out of you
You've got to roll, roll, roll with the punches
If all life offers is black and blue
You've got to roll, roll, roll with the punches

Little weapons over the phone
They like to threaten the life that I know
They say get over here and get into the ring
But I'm not really much a fighter
My mechanisms of defense are down
My resistance is out on the town
I was alarmed by your attack
This isn't a boxing match
But I'll be damned if I ever let you win

When all I want is a little stability
Some time without any bruises
You go and tell me the things that I don't want to hear
Putting your fist into my ears
Filling me up with the dread and the fear leaving you all in pieces
Suddenly everything's thrown in a spin
No time to grow a thicker skin
What kind of situation am I in now?

When life tries to knock all the wind out of you
You've got to roll, roll, roll with the punches
If all life offers is black and blue
You've got to hold, hold, hold your head up high



HAVE TO DRIVE

I have to drive
I have my reasons, dear
It's cold outside
I hate the seasons here

I suffer mornings most of all
I feel so powerless and small
By 10 o' clock I'm back in bed
Fighting the jury in my head

We learn to drive
It's only natural, dear
We drive all night
We haven't slept in years

It is a delicate position
Spin the bottle
Pick the victim
Catch a tiger
Switch directions
If he hollers
Break his ankles
To protect him

We'll have to drive
They're getting closer
Just get inside
It's almost over



TEA WITH CINNAMON

Wake again to tea with cinnamon
Some honey on a spoon
It is almost noon
Walking down the stairs to shed my morning tears
Just can't be satisfied
Lord knows that I've tried
And it's so beautiful, it's so beautiful,
It's so beautiful
But it's not real, it's not real

Bright the sun, the day is almost done
I sit and drink champagne
I am very sane
Smell this tea and dream of what could be
Defeated yet again
By tea with cinnamon
As many braver men
I might bounce back, my friend

And it's so beautiful, it's so beautiful
It's so beautiful
But it`s not real, it's not real

Now it's night and I don`t feel so bright
My pulse is beating fast
This will never last
Another day is gone and I can not outrun
The time is closing in
Let the sleep begin
Let it begin, let it begin



NOBODY'S SIDE

What's going on around me
Is barely making sense
I need some explanations fast
I see my present partner
In the imperfect tense
And I don't see how we can last
I feel I need a change of cast
Maybe I'm on nobody's side

And when he gives me reasons
To justify each move
They're getting harder to believe
I know this can't continue
I've still a lot to prove
There must be more I could achieve
But I don't have the nerve to leave

Everybody's playing the game
But nobody's rules are the same
Nobody's on nobody's side
Better learn to go it alone
Recognize you're out on your own
Nobody's on nobody's side

The one I should not think of
Keeps rolling through my mind
And I don't want to let that go
No lover's ever faithful
No contract truly signed
There's nothing certain left to know
And how the cracks begin to show!

Never make a promise or plan
Take a little love where you can
Nobody's on nobody's side
Never stay too long in your bed
Never lose your heart, use your head
Nobody's on nobody's side

Never take a stranger's advice
Never let a friend fool you twice
Nobody's on nobody's side
Never be the first to believe
Never be the last to deceive
Nobody's on nobody's side

Better learn to go it alone
Recognize you're out on your own
Nobody's on nobody's side



AMPERSAND

I walk down my street at night, the city lights are cold and violent
I am comforted by the approaching sound of trucks and sirens
Even though the world's so bad, these men rush out to help the dying
And though I am no use to them, I do my part by simply smiling

And I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand
And even if I went with you, I'm not the girl you think I am
And I'm not gonna match you, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely
No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy

And nobody deserves to die, but you were awful adament
That if I didn't love you, then you had just one alternative

And I may be romantic and I may risk my life for it
But I ain't gonna die for you, you know I ain't no Juliet
And I'm not gonna match, 'cause I'll lose my voice completely
No, I'm just gonna watch you, 'cause I'm not the one that's crazy


WHATEVER YOU WANT

Never a real moment together but she understands: you're an important man.
Another late night. don't know if you're coming home or when. she's alone again.
But she goes on curating your domestic museum. she disappears in her loyalty.
She is a dress wearing a face in the doorway, opening her arms out to you:

Whatever you want, whatever you want, whatever you want is fine by me.
Whatever you want, whatever you want, whatever you want is fine by me.

No one would dare to question you, oh no.
No one would dare to stand up.


RUN FOR YOUR LIFE

Well I'd rather see you dead, little girl
Than to be with another man
You better keep your head, little girl
Or I won't know where I am

You better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand little girl
Catch you with another man
That's the end ah little girl

Well I know that I'm a wicked guy
And I was born with a jealous mind
And I can't spend my whole life
Trying just to make you toe the line

You better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand little girl
Catch you with another man
That's the end ah little girl

Let this be a sermon
I mean everything I've said
Baby, I'm determined
And I'd rather see you dead

You better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand little girl
Catch you with another man
That's the end ah little girl

I'd rather see you dead, little girl
Than to be with another man
You better keep your head, little girl
Or you won't know where I am

You better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand little girl
Catch you with another man
That's the end ah little girl


GIRL ANACHRONISM

You can tell
From the scars on my arms
And the cracks on my hips
And the dents in my car
And the blisters on my lips
That I'm not the carefullest of girls

You can tell
From the glass on the floor
And the strings that're breaking
And I keep on breaking more
And it looks like I am shaking
But it's just the temperature
And then again
If it were any colder I could disengage
If I were any older I could act my age
But I don't think that you'd believe me
It's not the way
I'm meant to be
It's just the way the operation made me

And you can tell
From the state of my room
That they let me out too soon
And the pills that I ate
Came a couple years too late
And I've got some issues to work through
There I go again
Pretending to be you
Make-believing
That I have a soul beneath the surface
Trying to convince you
It was accidentally on purpose

I am not so serious
This passion is a plagiarism
I might join your century
But only on a rare occasion
I was taken out
Before the labor pains set in and now
Behold the world's worst accident
I am the girl anachronism

And you can tell
By the red in my eyes
And the bruises on my thighs
And the knots in my hair
And the bathtub full of flies
That I'm not right now at all
There I go again
Pretending that I'll fall
Don't call the doctors
Cause they've seen it all before
They'll say just
Let her crash and burn
She'll learn
The attention just encourages her

And you can tell
From the full-body cast
That you're sorry that you asked
Though you did everything you could
(like any decent person would)
But I might be catching so don't touch
You'll start believing you're immune to gravity and stuff
Don't get me wet
Because the bandages will all come off

And you can tell
From the smoke at the stake
That the current state is critical
Well it is the little things, for instance...
In the time it takes to break it she can make up ten excuses...
Please excuse her for the day, its just the way the medication makes her...

I don't necessarily believe there is a cure for this
So I might join your century but only as a doubtful guest
I was too precarious removed as a caesarian
Behold the worlds worst accident
I am the girl anachronism


GUITAR HERO

good morning killer king, you're a star
that's gorgeous, hold it right where you are
the weather's kinda lousy today
so what oh what oh what'll we play

so what's the use of going outside?
it's so depressing when people die in real life
I'd rather pick up right where we left
making out to faces of death
making out to faces of death

and i could save you, baby, but it isn't worth my time
and i could make you chase me for a little price is right

it's a hit but are you actually sure?
the targets in the crowd are a blur
the people screaming just like they should
but you don't even know if you're good
you don't even know if you're good

so tie them up and feed them the sand
ha nigga! try hard to tell us using your hands
a picture's worth a million words
and that way nobody gets hurt
and that way nobody gets hurt

and I could save you, baby, but it isn't worth my time
and I could make you chase me for a little price is right

x marks the box in the hole in the ground that goes off at a breath
so careful don't make a sound
x marks the box in the hole in your head that you dug for yourself
now lie. in. it.

shut up about all of that negative shit
you wanted to make it and now that you're in
just shut your eyes and play the cassette
and that's about the time that they hit
and that's about the time that they hit

what the fuck is up with this shit?
it's certainly not worth getting upset
his hands are gone and most of his head
and just when he was getting so good
just when he was getting so good...


GOOD DAY

So you don't want to hear about my good song?
And you don't want to hear about how i am getting on
With all the things that i can get done
The sun is in the sky & i am by my lonesome
So you don't want to hear about my good day?
You have better things to do than to hear me say

God its been a lovely day! everything's been going my way
I took out the trash today and i'm on fire...

So you don't want to hear about my good friends?
You don't have the guts to take the truth or consequence
Success is in the eye of the beholder
And its looking even better over your cold shoulder

I'm not suggesting you get to line me up for questioning
But Jesus think about the bridges you are burning
And i'm betting
That even though you knew it from the start
You'd rather be a bitch than be an ordinary broken heart

So go ahead and talk about your bad day...
I want all the details of the pain and misery
That you are inflicting on the others
I consider them my sisters and I want their numbers

God its been a lovely day! everything's been going my way
I took up croquet today and i'm on fire

I picked up the pieces of my broken ego
I have finally made my peace as far as you and me go
But i'd love to have you up to see the place
& i'd like to do more than survive i'd like to rub it in your face.....

Hey! its been a lovely day! everything's been going my way
I had so much fun today and i'm on fire
God it's been a lovely day everything's been going my way
Ever since you went away hey i'm on fire.....
I'm on fire...
I'm on fire...
So you don't want to hear about my good day?


TALKING BIRD

Oh, my talking bird
Though you know so few words
They're on infinite repeat
Like your brain can't keep up with your beak.

And you're kept in an open cage
So you're free to leave or stay.
Sometimes you get confused
Like there's a hint I am trying to give you.

The longer you think, the less you know what to do.

It's hard to see your way out
When you live in a house in a house
Cause you don't realize
That the windows were open the whole time.

Oh, my talking bird
Though your feathers are tattered and furled
I'll love you all your days
Till the breath leaves your delicate face.

It's all here for you as long as your choose to stay.
It's all here for you as long as you don't fly away.


WADING IN DEEPER

The summer has ended quietly surrendered
Laying it's weapons on
The ground 'round her feet
The chimes they are calling,
The leaves they are falling
To cover this land with their innocent lives
Lalalala, wading in deeper
Lalalala, up to her knees

Two hands that are white,
Can't put up the fight
Bereft of all strength and
The flames in her eyes
The infant, the damage,
The plunder, the pillage
Her ruins of smoke, this river can't choke

Lalalala, wading in deeper
Lalalala, up to her waist

The fall is a'coming, closer each morning
It snarls at her heals and
Breathes down her neck
A raven is calling Promethean warning
The ties to her arms and
Her legs pull her down

Lalalala, wading in deeper
Lalalala, over her head


BAD ROMANCE

I want your ugly
I want your disease
I want your everything
As long as it's free
I want your love

I want your drama
The touch of your hand
I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want it bad, your bad romance

I want your love and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

I want your love and
All your lovers' revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

I want your horror
I want your design
‘Cause you're a criminal
As long as you're mine
I want your love

I want your psycho
Your vertigo stick
Want you in my rear window
Baby you're sick
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love


THE SHOW

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

Slow it down
Make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
To be something I'm not

I'm a fool
Out of love
'Cause I just can't get enough

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

The sun is hot
In the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the sign
And synchronize in time
It's a joke
Nobody knows
They've got a ticket to that show
Yeah

Just enjoy the show

I want my money back
Just enjoy the show

I want my money back
Just enjoy the show


HEY HO ON THE DEVIL'S BACK

As I was walking in the big black woods
Hey ho, the big black woods
I met the evil devil and he offered me a ride
Hey ho, he offered me a ride
He said: "you look tired, let me carry you a while"
Hey ho on the devil's back
There's an evil, little bastard hiding in his eye
Hey ho, of fire, flames and fryLord, I'm only human
I'm tired and I wanna go home
Let me ride on the devil's back,
But save my soul
Save my soul

The rain poured down from the grey sky above
Hey ho, the rain pissed down
But the devil he went hasty
And steady running fast
Hey ho, oh this could never last
And then he saw my home through
The branches and the leaves
Hey ho, lay hidden by the trees
Inside my darling loved one
And children oh so sweet
Hey ho, my children oh so sweet

Lord knows you're only human
You were tired and you wanted to go home
Pay me the soul of your one true love
Or you will never see your children again

Oh Lord knows you're only human
You were tired and you wanted to go home
Pay me the soul of your one true love
Or you will never see your children again
Save my soul!


GET OVER YOU

You think you've got your way
But baby there's a catch
Don't need your foul play
Now you have met your match
You think you're in control
But that won't last that long
You thought you wore the crown
Honey, you were wrong

You had me taken in
But now I've found you out
And I won't go through that again
You've always had to win
You'll have to go without
You don't know where to stop

Go, go, go, go, go
I'll get over you
You drive me crazy, up the wall
Think you're Mr Know-it-all
Go, go, go, go, go
I'll get over you
You drive me crazy, up the wall
Goodbye Mr Know-it-all

I let you have your say
You never compromised
Complaining everyday
About everything in sight
I've let you stay a while
Now I am getting bored
No substance in your style
And you're not the man
You thought that you were


NUMB

One track mind like a gold fish
Stuck inside my petri dish
I can't breath and I can't smile
This better be worth my while

I feel numb most of the time
The lower I get the higher I'll climb
And I will wonder why
I got dark only to shine
Looking for the golden light
Oh, it's a reasonable sacrifice
Burn, burn, burn bright

Forgo family, forgo friends
It's how it started, how it ends
I can open up and cry
Coz I've been silent all my life

Oh, I get dark oh and I'm in hell
I need a friend, oh but I can't yell
Yeah, I'm no good, no good to anyone
Coz all I care about is being number one

Shine, looking for the golden light
Oh it's a reasonable sacrifice

I feel numb most of the time
The lower I get the higher I'll climb
And I will wonder why
I got dark only to shine

And I light up the sky
Stars that burn the brightest
Fall so fast and pass you by
Cough like empty lighters


STARRING ROLE

You're hard to hug, tough to talk to
And I never fall asleep, when you're in my bed
All you give me is a heartbeat
I've turned into a statue
And it makes me feel depressed
Cause the only time you open up is when we get undressed

You don't love me, big fucking deal
I'll never tell, you how I feel
You don't love me, not a big deal
I'll never tell you how I feel

It almost feels like a joke to play out the part
When you are not the starring role in someone else's heart
You know I'd rather walk alone, than play a supporting role
If I can't get the starring role.

I never sent for love, I never had a heart to mend
Because before the start began, I always saw the end

Yeah, I wait for you to open up, to give yourself to me
But nothing's ever gonna give, I'll never set you free
Yeah I'll never set you free

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Lucy

July 2017

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